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The Fantastic Feature – Lights, camera, and oh-so-much action

By on November 5, 2009

While some people enjoy a good laugh with their threesomes and a guffaw with their blow jobs,  others prefer a different route – the big budget pornographic feature film, complete with explosions, costumes, CGI and lots and lots of sex.

Who doesn’t love a big blockbuster movie? They so exciting and shiny and expensive! On that note, who doesn’t love porn? Beautiful people with elaborate costumes, getting all wet and breathing heavy together…

How about hardcore penetration with exciting action sequences, drama, suspense, intense story and clever dialogue?

If you think about it, blockbuster movies and adult films have more in common than one would initially think. (At least, there’s always a gratuitous showing of something or another!)

Who doesn’t love a porn feature? Jon from Texas loves porn features. He says that having a story gives the scene a context, and when the directors and writers don’t give a story, he invents one for himself.

“With a regular porn scene, it’s got no frame,” he says. “The movie having a story is much more guiding. You don’t end up inventing the frame around the scene. You just plug yourself into it.”

(Though, admittedly, Jon wonders if he’s the only one who creates plot around the porn he enjoys.)

“I think they should make more features,” he says. “There are so many stories I would love to see made into feature porn movies!”

Interested in enjoying the full pornographic, cinematic experiences, but not sure how to tell the difference between the good stuff from the horrid? Gamelink.com has a great list of the 25 must-have porn features, listing genres as varied from action adventure, murder mystery, romance, to high fantasy.

“These films really suck you in,” say the sexy cats at Gamelink.com, “and once the action starts you’ll have a hard time tearing yourself away.”

Or at least, if it’s done well enough, something will be hard.

So, if people in general seem to like feature length big budget adult films, why aren’t more of them produced?

Last February, AskMen.com released a great list of the top ten biggest budget adult films, counting down to the most expensive. All of these were feature length films, because common sense says the longer and more elaborate the film, the more expensive it will be. There is a huge difference between filming a collection of five 20 minute scenes in one studio over the span of two days verses editing hours and hours of sex, plot, dialogue and special effects.

Simply put, the more effort put into something, the more expensive it will be.

That said, there is something beautiful, simple and pure about having a girl, a boy, and a toy in a dark studio for 30 minutes and filming what happens. But these sort of scenes are sexy, which is a different type of excitement. A three hour full length science fiction spectacular event is exciting in a completely different meaning of the word.

Traditionally, sex flicks had to be seen in theaters. Because of this, directors paid more attention to quality and story (granted, this was circa 1975 quality and story). After all, just watching plain ol’ sex wasn’t usually worth the trouble of leaving one’s home and venturing out into the wide open world. They had to create films that people wanted to go to see. With the popularity of at home videos, however, films began to die out. People could have porn shipped directly to their doors, or even rent from a plethora of options.

(As a kid, I always did wonder what was behind the beaded curtain at the video store.)

Enter the internet, and the face of the adult industry changed forever with a huge wide multi-verse of perverted and delicious options. (Talk about the good, the bad and the ugly!)

The adult industry has a lot of money. Despite the recent downturns of the economy, porn is still making a lot of money. Rather than making money through one big picture event, however, production companies and studios make so much money because they produce dozens of smaller, lower quality films.

Again, filming two guys and a girl in some dude’s living room is not really Hollywood blockbuster quality. Money is made and people are paid, but not to the extent of a feature length adult film to the likes of, let’s just say, Pirates.

Ah, Digital Playground and Adam and Eve’s adult pornographic hit of 2005, Pirates. A feature spoof from the endlessly popular Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, Adam and Eve took something good and sexy and made it awesome and sexier.

When it comes to adult films, many see Pirates as breaking the mould. It wasn’t a 70s or 80s cheesetastic porno flick. It was a blockbuster in the spirit of the big budget Hollywood Blockbuster. The first Pirates had a budget of one million dollars. That’s one million porn dollars, where most films are produced for a fraction of that amount.

And that’s not even mentioning the 2008 sequel, Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenue, which cost even more than the original.

Not only were the Pirates movies more expensive than other adult films, but they featured and released original motion picture soundtracks and milder, rated R edited versions.

And who can forget 1979’s Caligula, the tale of the wayward and decadent (bat-shit crazy) Roman emperor. Co-financed by Penthouse, Caligula was a strange hybrid of independent historical film and hard core, gut wrenching pornography. Probably the most well-known (and infamous) adult film ever made, it is also the most expensive.

Building from the tradition of Caligula and remembering Pirates, feature length adult films seem to be gaining momentum. This year saw the release of Adam and Eve’s post apocalyptic masterpiece, 8th Day, as well as Wicked’s robot-fembot-replicant love story 2040.

Smaller studios like Girlfriends Films and Sweetheart Video have been paying attention to storylines. These lovely lesbian productions present either a collection of small vignettes loosely tied to an overlying theme (Women Seeking Women), or serial installments continuing an episodic storyline (Road Queen).

Some associate storylines with “couples’ porn” which can have the tendency to have a dragging plot, boring dialogue, and overly dramatic acting. While sex doesn’t always have to be an intense double dong gang-bang, it doesn’t necessarily need to be sickeningly saccharine sweet, either. It should be something for everyone to enjoy, and the modern face of the adult film feature is a great way to experience adult entertainment for the very first time, or to share your porn habits with someone you love.

Modern adult features are the gifts that keep on giving. Pornographic actors and actresses seem to enjoy making them, studios make a lot of money releasing them, and the public loves watching them. Though the acting may not be Oscar award winning, it’s usually better than the typical “is that a sausage in your pizza box or are you just happy to see me and my lesbian co-ed roommate?”

Most of all, they’re pretty. The stories are pretty and engaging, directors pay attention to sets, costumes and other details, and the talent – oh, the talent! In this wonderful world of adult film features, the men are as pretty or talented as the women usually are – and they’re likeable, too!

The Adult Video News (AVN) Awards reward studio’s hard work with plenty of awards each year, and the features are usually a highlight. It’s no secret that 8th Day and 2040 are both fierce contenders for this year’s honor.

So, pop some popcorn, take out the lube, find your favorite snuggle buddy and pop in a DVD or a toy or two. Finally, enjoy some hard core lights, camera and most of all, action.

Sources:

http://www.gamelink.com/naked_truth.jhtml?id=musthave_features
http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-big-budget-porns.html
http://www.overthinkingit.com/2009/03/26/the-adult-film-industry-rediscovers-its-balls/
http://thefastertimes.com/sexanddating/2009/07/22/porn-should-have-a-plot/
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/08/business/media/08porn.html?_r=3&scp=1&sq=pornography&st=cse

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