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Lily is Blooming with Lily Carter: Lily’s “House”

By on April 12, 2012
Lily water

Hey now! I’m am not fragile. I am not broken and I sure as heck don’t want sympathy from anyone. I am so glad that my last article helped a few of u too open up to me privately. I hope me being positive and open about my childhood battles helped other women (and men) with there own. However, I am a porn chick and I intend on continuing my career for mine and your pleasure. So treat me like one.

With that said, let’s continue…….

At a very young age I started fantasizing without realizing I was. When I say young I mean about six or seven years old. It was a year after being put in the care of my grandparents. This was also the same time frame when I started sleeping over at my soon to be best friends house. Which is likely to play a roll in my twisted bedtime imagination.

In first grade I met my first real friend. Let’s call her Jane. We became very close. I didn’t have much stability in my life yet so I clung onto her and her beautiful family. My first slumber party was with her. This was the beginning of our bizarre games of house.

I always played the loser or the misfortunate character in our little role playing adventures. Jane always played the superior role. The role with power. In porn lingo I would be called a sub and she would be called a Dom. One scenario was the day old student teacher game. She would watch over me while I did my school work. If I answered a question wrong or slacked on the pace of my work I would be punished.

When we first started playing this game the punishment was simple humiliation. For example I would have to stand in front of the classroom and recite lines. The game eventually progressed  into to more sexual humiliations. Such as standing in the corner naked while my “imaginary class mates” laughed. The same turn of events occurred while playing “mom and dad” or “mom and daughter”  story lines.

I also received sexually humiliating discipline when I played the “mom” and “daughter” roles in our games of house. In addition, we also pretended to have a sexual relationship when we portrayed a married couple. She was always in charge and told me what to do. We made out in bed and grinded. This is my first lesbian experience… (maybe why I like girls so much today?)

Am I rambling? My point is that the sexual abuse I went through as a toddler eventually progressed into explicit role playing which maybe caused my childhood fantasies. I am no phycologist. I can’t make that statement with educational backing. I am actually using this blog to my benefit. The more I write about it and examine my past the more I understand myself. Eeekkk! I’m off track again.

Maybe this is a sign that I should stop writing. Next time I will actually share my childhood fantasies. Goodbye for now

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