The Accidental Voyeur: My Personal Dirty Dozen

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What movies would you bring if you were stranded on a desert island? Years ago, AVN Insider had a regular column called “Castaway Porno Picks” for us industry folks to pitch in with three top choices — but I could never decide on only three. Now that I’m writing this on Thanksgiving, however, I’m struck by the realization that I am indeed thankful for the movies that I love, because of the personal memories they evoke. Life is too short to waste on bad (or, however perverse this sounds, meaningless) porn, so here’s what I proudly call my personal dirty dozen:

Fade to Blue (VCA, 1997): Built around cover girl Juli Ashton, who narrates the movie. Back in 1995, I hung out with her for three days as we worked booths at a trade show, and I’ll always have fond memories of her. Also, unusual for a Michael Ninn movie, most of this was shot outdoors in natural light and it includes my all-time favorite Asia Carrera scene, done out in the Mojave desert where she plays piano and then bangs Colt Steele as Barry Wood shoots from a running dune buggy. Awesome camerawork!

New Wave Hookers 5 (VCA, 1997): Michael Ninn again. I get a kick from how people assume I worked on this because the end credits say “visual effects by Drew McKinzie” (sic!) but that’s really Ninn himself using a coincidental pseudonym – we don’t actually know one another, I’ve met his wife but never him. My favorite scene has Russian babe Vicca sucking off three guys playing Japanese businessmen (goofy glasses, buck teeth and all, she’s hot and they’re hilarious!) and she then also blows Peter North, as if she’s insatiably hungry for cock. (My absolute favorite blowbang scene, bar none.)

My Plaything Jenna Jameson (Digital Sin, 2000): Superbly shot POV porn, where you can virtually do Jenna from all angles and Briana Banks lends a hand (literally). This is the movie we discussed when I first met and interviewed Jenna, and she told me most memorably: “I watch it and I know that if I were a guy, it would be the ultimate jack-off. Every man watching this is going to want to fuck me!”

Appassionata (Adam & Eve, 2000): Given to me by Asia Carrera (who wrote, directed, produced, acted and even scored the music), this DVD edition beats the original 1997 VHS version for its second disc of extras, which includes a “sex reel” which to me celebrates the porn of the 90’s. I also wrote about this in a profile of Asia (Penthouse Variations, February 2000) and I’m very proud of that piece.

Jack and Jill (Wicked Pictures, 2001): I spent a day on the set of this movie shot in downtown Los Angeles and met director Brad Armstrong for the first time, but what stands out is that I’m actually in the DVD extras section here – shot by Mark Stone, I’m seen interviewing Sydnee Steele and also a cheerfully topless Devinn Lane, her pendulously large breasts staring me right in the face.

The Villa (Studio A, 2002): This film won “Best Cinematography” at the 2003 AVN Awards, and I’ve actually shown this in college lectures, as an example of how high production values can elevate visual erotica. Kyla Cole is on the cover and she signed it for me, and we’re still friends today. It’s also my favorite Andrew Blake all-girl movie. Shot in a real villa in Frascati, Italy, there’s a gorgeous three-way featuring Bunny Luv (billed as Elsa Versus), Justine Joli, and Kyla – who also does my favorite solo scene of hers here. (I love watching her masturbate, I’ve told her.)

Fresh Meat #14 (Evil Angel, 2002): I have warm memories of meeting the delectable Charmane Star, who’s in a sizzling three-way scene here, probably my favorite of hers. This movie, directed by the late John Leslie, was my first experience of the Evil Angel DVD “Fetish Menu”(Nothing like going straight to the blowjob or cumshot so you can skip the obligatory preliminaries!) Sharon Wild is also really good, and there’s a long scene where Lexington Steele does three girls together, quite exhausting to watch.

Snow Sluts (Private, 2003): My favorite film by Garry Gazzman, built around an alpine ski school where the male instructors predictably fuck the female students , and for me the two best scenes feature the lovely Czech star Lea De Mae, who tragically died in 2004 from the rare brain cancer glioblastoma. I met her once, at the AVN Expo in 2001, and her ethereal beauty will always stay with me (and the poster she signed for me will never go on eBay).

Belladonna’s Fuck Me (Harmony, 2004): Whew, what can you say about Belladonna, after you’ve seen her take three guys to task simultaneously in this movie? I’m glad I’ve met her and watched her live doing her thing. Directed again by Garry Gazzman, there’s a serious array of ass-to-mouth, cum swapping , double-penetration and double-anal action plus a massive orgy at the end – not for those faint of heart or lacking stroking stamina.

Flight 69 (Adam & Eve, 2006): Written by my fellow former AVN colleague Wayne Hentai, and did we have some interesting discussions about this movie! Basically a vehicle for Carmen Luvana – about shenanigans between flight attendents and pilots (hence the hokey title) – but I really love the opening scene featuring Holly Wellin at her blistering best – hard to believe she’s an English girl from Wigan!

French Connexion (Marc Dorcel, 2007) : Herve Bodilis directs an all-European cast, the girls playing hookers “helping” police to nail a Russian mafia boss. It gave me insight into the French style of porn, where they know that the dialogue is just an excuse for the sex (often the opposite case in American porn, unfortunately) and so the viewer is supposed to be in on the joke. Great performances by Jane Darling and Jessica Fiorentino, but the real deal is Katsumi, who recommended this film and gave me a fun interview about it.

MlLF-O-Maniacs 2 (Wicked Pictures, 2008): Right after this came out, Monica Mayhem and I appeared on a live Internet talk show, during which we sat together (Monica topless, of course) and did running commentary while showing viewers her scene from this movie. During reverse-cowgirl, where Alex Sanders is plunging his cock in and out of her vagina, Monica said: “Now, I’ll tell you, that was a really good cardio workout!”