The Accidental Voyeur: Temple of the Gush Goddess

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Does it take seven minutes to have an orgasm, as Irving Wallace once wrote? Well, I had seven minutes with Cytherea, and it wasn’t quite the happy ending I expected. But it sure was close.

Call me a porn geek but I’m one of those who can remember her from 2003, her rookie year, when her squirting skills made her famous as the “Goddess of Gush.” She deservedly won the AVN Best New Starlet trophy in 2005 before mysteriously disappearing for five years (reportedly to deal with drug rehab) and then returning with a vengeance, scoring a “Comeback of the Year” nomination at this year’s XBiz Awards. She had admitted in 2008 (on this AIP site, to our very own editor Christina) that she wanted to do webcam shows and missed the work.

And she would do interviews again, too, which explained how she finally came to me, a whole ten years after I’d first hoped to meet her (the details of that episode best not disclosed here), though this time not quite in person but rather by Skype, from her new cellphone after a shoot at the Excalibur in Las Vegas.

And so she talked to me while sitting on the toilet, believe it or not, for seven sputtering minutes on a Friday night in October 2013. I hadn’t yet known about the horrible Wi-Fi in those places but I sure do now. The line crackled and the connection kept cutting off — apparently, some Vegas hotels don’t like people staying in their rooms when they should be downstairs gambling, so the connectivity was crap. It was worse than the start-stop-start-stop of having sex while filming features, but we gamely tried to string together a conversation as she smiled and looked her sultry, slutty best. I was at least grateful for that.

“Yes, I had never done that before, that was my very first movie!” she said, when I showed her my DVD of Creamed, her all-creampie movie from 2003. I think she meant her first onscreen creampie but before I could clarify, the line broke up. When she called me back, I asked about her comeback. “It’s been good, it really has,” she replied. “I’ve been on a rollercoaster – “ And the connection died again. Something told me that time was not on our side, so when she came back onscreen,  I immediately asked if it was true that she had, as I’d read in AVN Insider in 2004, once squirted 12 feet.

“Yeah,” she affirmed, “but I don’t go round measuring my come — like how far I squirt. I just happened to be part of this whole All-American Squirt-off thing, and they were measuring because it was part of the hoopla of the show, you know. There was another one where they measured it, when I first got into the industry, I was on Playboy TV and they were doing their annual squirt-off thing, too. Honestly, it’s not about the distance. I mean, I think, more than anything, it’s about the orgasm, for me. I mean, I can imagine from the standpoint of understanding  the — wow! Like, you can see the girl coming, and it’s flowing – “

Alas, her sultry visage began to dissolve and the damn line fizzled out again.

When she came back, I asked her about the shoot she’d literally just finished, her first scene for director Jason Danilak in his Joe Porno series – whereby real ordinary Joes can win a contest and get filmed having sex with their porn star of choice (from a given list, Cytherea included with 30 other girls). Earlier this year, Danilak had directed Cytherea in two new movies, Barely Blue Velvet (the parody of David Lynch’s Blue Velvet) and Barely Cops Sin City (the parody of the Cops reality television show) and this was their third shoot together but her first for him with non-professional male talent. Her onscreen partner, John Connor, was a fan living his dream today (as pictured above, trying not to swoon).

“It went really, really well — surprisingly,” she said with a grin. “I wasn’t expecting a newbie to be so good. I mean, literally, this was his first scene. Apparently, of all the porn stars, he picked me!” Now, that was what I wanted to discuss with her. After all, she had begun this year by hosting a live webcam show, a fanbang contest with none other than herself as the top prize. Her fans could compete to worship her now as men did in the pre-Christian days of temple prostitutes, but with the Internet as the temple of a new sacred tableau, the girl hoisted on a postmodern pedestal as the recipient of unabashed adoration.

“Yes, I’ve done a few of those kinds of shows, for different people, doing streaming,” she confirmed. Cytherea is aptly another name for Aphrodite, the goddess of love, so did she like being a trophy? “I am an attention whore, so yeah, I kinda do,” she replied, giggling.

The line crackled so she repeated it with fresh emphasis. “I AM an attention whore!”

Then the connection broke off yet again and that ended the interview. But she’d said it all, right there. Porn stars are a special breed within the sex worker realm simply because they need the camera to capture their extreme exhibitionism so Cytherea is the new face of American porn circa 2013, where the fanbang is the new gangbang.

And I certainly understand — because I did a John Connor once myself, with someone in adult entertainment even though nothing was ever filmed. Cytherea wants to be filmed fucking her obsessed fans, and she knows she’s providing what some guys can only wish for. Porn is sometimes about possibilities, and some dreams can come true.

Editor’s Note: Interested fans can view the lovely girls of the Joe Porno series HERE