Venus Rising: Should I or Shouldn’t I?

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Hello Lovers,
I received quite a few emails from my readers after my last column on newly instated TS medical coverage rights in some State Medicare programs and my subsequent  joy over our inclusion and recognition. I heard a lot of congratulations from you all and a lot of happy and hopeful feedback from my transsexual audience. I also got some interesting questions. One of which comes from my longtime fan, Monty.

Monty writes:

Dear Venus,

I just read your latest piece about transgendered people receiving more benefits and it made me think of a situation that a friend of mine has. She is in her early forties and has been living full time as a woman since she transitioned at age 20. Recently her health insurance included SRS on its coverage and she is jumping at the chance. 

In the time that I have known her over the last ten or so years I have known her to have an active and passionate sex life. She has definitely enjoyed the use and function of her penis. I have tried to point out that what is between her legs does not make her any less of a woman, if it is how she feels inside.

I fully understand that it is her body and her choice, I’m just trying to caution that just because she can, does that mean she should?

Good question, Monty!

Bottom line, because you happen to have the funds or the accessibility to have SRS should you have the procedure? Not all decisions or personal answers are cut and dry in this world. When it comes to SRS you must think about how it would affect you on many levels such as risks and benefits, personal feelings, love life, and sex life.  I’ve taken the liberty to make a laundry list of things to consider for those on the fence of the most important decision of their life.

As an MTF transsexual, the things I would ponder are:

  1. Risks and Benefits
  • Recovery from the procedure will take months
  • This surgery make have complications with the amount of blood loss  and the recovery will be painful. You will require consistent cleaning and  attention to prevent infection.
  • Once recovered you don’t have to worry about tucking.
  • No more testosterone.
  • You may lose sensitivity.
  1. personal feelings
  • No more insecurity about being a transgender
  • No need to justify your gender
  • A feeling of completeness as a woman
  • You still cannot procreate
  1. love life
  • No need to explain your gender.
  • You can now date any man you come across.
  1. sex life
  • Hygiene control
  • Vagina may be too shallow
  • Sex will be different and you will need to adjust

I can make lists all day but everyone has their own set of unique concerns and, in the end,  you are the only one who has to make the decision and weigh if you are doing this for yourself as a goal, doing this for the sake of dating and finding love, or doing it for other reasons. I’m not here to say any motivation to have the procedure or not is wrong, right or indifferent but keep in mind that there is no turning back. This is a personal decision. Do what’s best for you, define yourself and color outside the lines. Always.

XOX,
V.