The Accidental Voyeur: All In Good Taste

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I openly confess to having a thing for Kirsten Price, whom I’ve never met her in real life. I’ve heard stories about her, however, that aren’t quite so worshipful and, perhaps thankfully then, my admiration from afar is based expressly on (as the photo above certainly shows) her on-camera presence.

In particular, one scene shot in January 2008 for Wicked Pictures. Kirsten is on the boxcover, posing provocatively with an electric guitar under the big, bold title Cockstar and the very unsubtle subtitle “a Brad Armstrong gig starring Kirsten Price.” Yes, it’s a contract-girl vehicle for her, a wall-to-wall film and director Brad Armstrong’s vignette homage to the sex-god status of the rock star, and in the fifth scene Kirsten executes a unique blowjob on Tommy Gunn in which his Fender Stratocaster features nicely as a prop.

After some delectable sucking, Kirsten (who begins the scene wearing plexiglass glasses that presciently resemble goggles!) finally lets Tommy spray his spunk right onto the guitar, which has been lying horizontal on the floor for good reason. His jizz splatters all over the area right below the bridge, adjacent to the pickguard, and Kirsten then crawls on all fours and laps up all that juicy protein goodness with her tongue, licking the surface clean.

That’s a nice variation, I thought, on the age-old quandary: “Do you spit or swallow?” I’m sure that if you ask anyone in this industry, the usual answer is neither – in porn, you need to see the pop shot, so a facial tends to be the norm. Some girls prefer it on their breasts, which from certain angles can look nice, and spitting isn’t polite unless two girls are doing a double header, sharing a single penis, and then choose to swap both spit and sperm (one of my favorite porn visual kinks, actually, if you must know).

My friend Gabrielle, who isn’t in the industry, tells me that’s one reason why she’ll never do porn. She herself prefers to swallow rather than spit and, for her, that’s how all good blowjobs should end. We discussed this because another friend had sent me an article addressing the esoteric subject of cooking with sperm. Paul “Fotie” Photenhauer, an author from San Francisco, has written two books about this – Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-based Recipes (published in 2008) and Semenology: The Semen Bartender’s Handbook (published in 2013). His recipes include the “Macho Mojito” and “Creamy Cum Crepes” (seriously, I’m not making this up!) and Gabrielle nearly gagged when I sent her the link.

“Oh no, no, no!” she protested. “I have no qualms about taking it fresh from the source, especially in the heat of the moment, but the afterthought of it coagulating and just the very notion of cooking with it, that just makes me sick to my stomach. I think it should be consumed during sexual activity, never post-coital!” Different strokes for different folks, as they say, though I mention all this because Gabrielle once asked me what was the wildest thing I’d ever done in a sexual situation and my reply literally made her jaw drop.

I told her about a late fall evening in 1994 in Los Angeles, with the stripper I’d been seeing. Amid the half-sleepy repose after sex, she made me an unusual request. “Can you masturbate while I watch?” she asked. “I want to see you do that.” No one had ever asked me that before, and I’ll admit that I was thrilled. And, truth be told, I loved it — “Now this is how it feels to be a porn star,” I remember thinking, “being watched while I perform a solo!” — and the fact that this was happening some 20 minutes after we’d had vaginal sex made it all the more special because of the transgression involved. Most porn scenes start rather than end with a solo, since self-pleasure is seen as foreplay rather than afterplay, so we were spontaneously going against tradition.

And when I finally reached the zenith, I made sure it all nestled in the palm of my left hand (since I’m right handed) and I then presented it to her. She accepted; still naked herself and reclining on a pillow, she then crawled over and accepted my spontaneous gift, licking it all up like a cat lapping milk from a bowl, swallowing every last drop. The choreography of those moments will be forever etched in my memory.

Sure, it’s a variation on a theme, since we’ve all seen sperm deposited into all kinds of receptacles (and then swiftly descended down the hatch by the likes of Sabrina Johnson, Charmaine Star and Jade Marcela, to cite three I can actually remember) and even into Champagne flutes in celebration (best exemplified by Keeani Lei, who swallows all five in a five-man blowbang, in Jim Powers’s Flavors of the World), but a girl literally eating right out of my hand? It’s only ever happened to me that once.

In retrospect, two things come to mind: I wish I’d asked her how I tasted — though clearly we both didn’t want to ruin the sanctity of that shared moment with (ugh) conversation — and, although some porn geek out there can probably correct me, I don’t recall ever seeing that one done on film. Kirsten Price, in a parallel universe, will stay my private muse so suggestive of a sizzling memory, and I don’t feel the actual urge to meet her anymore. As a porn star, she’s valuable for deeply personal reasons and it’s enough that she’s proved her worth to me.