Retro Review: My Horny Valentine

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My Horny ValentineIt’ Valentine’s Day today, also my birthday for those that care (dirty and 30 by the way) so I figured I had to come up with something appropriate for this month’s Retro Review. I have wanted to review a Stacy Valentine movie for one of these for a while now and this was the first time that it fit. My Horny Valentine, from VCA and director Jim Enright, features Stacy as a young woman who is worried that she will never find the right guy because she is a stripper. So the question is will her new place allow this to happen. Let us find out.

Scene 1: Laura Palmer and Peter North

Stacy is trying to get her new place in order. She flirts a little with her new friend Tony Tedeschi and he mentions he can check with some of his friends to see if they can help. Next we see Laura and Peter making out, It doesn’t take long though for Laura to start sucking him off. Peter turns things around and has Laura lie down as he works his mouth down her body until he reaches her pussy which he proceeds to eat out. Laura then gets on her knees for some spirited doggie before rolling onto her side for spoons. Missionary is then the final position which ends with one of Peter’s massive cumshots on her body. This is a nice opening scene. I mean you can really complain when you have Peter North involved after all.

Scene 2: Morgan Fairlane and Jake Steed

Next we see Stacy and Christi Lake chatting and Stacy is telling her that she is worried that all these guys are going to start hitting on her when they find out she’s a stripper. The scene then switches to a flashback involving a mutual friend played by Morgan. She and Jake are shown making out and soon after Morgan gets undressed and eaten out. This doesn’t last too long as Morgan starts giving him a BJ. Some titty fucking is involved here too before moving onto cowgirl. Missionary is then next in both vaginal and anal. Jake finishes by pulling out and spraying on her bush, I have to say that the chemistry here seems off on this scene. The BJ was pretty good but other that it felt a bit flat.

Scene 3: Stacy Valentine and Christi Lake

Christi reassures here that everything will be fine and they start to kiss. Stacy strips down and Christi immediately buries her face into her after some more kissing. Christi then breaks out this long purple dildo and plunges it into Stacy as she writhes against it. Now it’s Christi’s turn as Stacy starts by licking her nipples and then her slit. Christi then gets the purple dildo treatment as well while Stacy licks her at the same time. Ti spice things up though she goes into doggie a bit too before they kiss some more to finish the scene. Well as much as the last scene felt off, this one felt on. Both ladies do a great job here and I liked how they didn’t go back and forth.

Scene 4: Maya Souls and TT Boy

Tony shows up next with Laura and Peter to help her out. They do so and then leave and next we see the guys, along with TT Boy hanging out and talking about what to do for an upcoming bachelor party for TT. His fiancee comes in and she kicks the other guys out and soon after she and TT are making out. Soon after this Maya is down on her knees and licking his shaft before hopping on in cowgirl. They stay in cowgirl for a while and then switch to doggie which really seems to agree with Maya. Missionary is then the final position as TT finishes up by dropping his load on her face. This is a pretty high energy scene compared to the others up to this point and makes for a nice boost.

Scene 5: Jacklyn Lick and Nick East

Next we see Maya looking around and she finds a porno tape and she is caught by Christi. Christi says she has done some amateur stuff and then tells the story of a friend of hers who is making a living doing it. We are then shown Jacklyn sucking off Nick as the scene flashes back to the scene. Jacklyn is quite vigorous with the BJ and then she moves onto reverse cowgirl. Doggie is then up next as Nick goes a bit faster as Jacklyn rubs herself. Missionary is then the final position as Jacklyn hangs off a chair. Vaginal first and then anal to end it before Nick pulls out and cums on her breasts. This is another high energy scene but the music is a bit overwhelming. Otherwise it is pretty hot scene.

Scene 6: Christi Lake, Maya Souls and Peter North

Maya says that she has always wanted to try to make one herself but she is chicken and doesn’t have a camera. Christi does though and she starts to film her as she undresses and rubs herself a bit. Peter then comes in and the fun continues as he and Maya start kissing. Christi then drops the camera and joins in as they both work his nipples before doing the same to his cock. Christi then gets the first position in doggie as she hovers over Maya. Maya then has a go in missionary while she eats out Christi. The ladies then share his load to finish the scene. I would like this scene more if they didn’t have so much time dedicated to closeup shots. It’s a turnoff for me because I’d rather see their faces and bodies.

Scene 7: Stacy Valentine and Tony Tedeschi

As it turns out, they end up going to Stacy’s club for the bachelor party and she gets into some trouble over what happens, which we don’t see. Tony then admits that he is really into her and that he doesn’t care that she strips and they start kissing and making out. Tony helps Stacy out of her clothes and then starts licking her pussy. She returns the favor with a nice BJ and then right into reverse cowgirl. Doggie is the next position as Stacy finishes up by taking his load in her mouth. I always thought it was cool how Stacy had this ultimate girl next door look and personality but then when the sex starts she turns into a bit of animal and that is certainly on display here.

Extras:

I viewed this movie through a download and therefore do not know what extras were on the DVD, if any.

Final Thoughts and Rating:

As I said earlier, Stacy Valentine had this image of being the ultimate girl next door and it’s titles like this that reinforced that. I unfortunately only had a chance to get to know her work after her retirement but after looking back I feel as if she was under appreciated when she was performing and that’s a shame, Overall this movie is very enjoyable and with the exception of the two scenes I mentioned that I had issues with the others are pretty solid so I give My Horny Valentine a 3.75 out of 5.