Everyone has childhood dreams and wishes. Everyone experiences a desire of some sort. I’m sure I had what would be considered normal desires, but I also had more sexual desires at a really young age. I never shared such things with anyone, including my own conscience, until just recently.

As a child, probably starting about 1st grade, I would repeat a scenario in my head until I feel asleep. Im pretty positive that many people do this; children and adults. However I do not think that many children have such rash fantasy worlds as I did. Is public nudity a common desire for 7 year olds? I don’t think so!

One scenario I had took place at a daycare in my neighborhood. In short, I would be undressed by a couple older boys and made fun of. The time would come to go to school and I would have to walk to my bus stop naked. I thought about this until I fell asleep, hoping that my dreams would take over and complete my story. I’m not sure if it ever worked.

Another reoccurring fantasy involved being tied up in front of my class room and touched by the other children. I couldn’t help but enjoy myself and all the students could tell. Almost every fantasy I had involved that embarrassing feeling of liking something you shouldn’t.

At such a young age, I really had no idea that these thoughts in my head were sexual. I did not see them as fantasies. I just used them to put myself to sleep, hoping to dream of them. I did however know that they were weird and  different, which is probably why I had them buried for so long. The older I grew the deeper I buried them, and the more explicit they became.

In about my preteens my countless fantasies started to involve penetration with foreign objects. When high school hit, full on rape fantasies took hold of my private bedtime stories.The older i became the more dirty the scenario. Such as more men and bigger audiences.It always involved people watching and it always involved me fighting the urge to enjoy it.

I haven’t researched this topic much so I have no idea how to correlate these fantasies with my childhood abuse, my twisted games of house, and my unfulfillable appetite for sex. Maybe I will never connect the dots but it does feel nice to write about.

Entries may be submitted currently and the competition closes June 11th. DecadentStories.com is looking for short stories that entice the senses and bring adult fantasies to life. The leading erotic story site, which is also the sister site to aipdaily.com, wants your erotic stories to add to their naughty collection of literature.

The rules are simple. All stories must be short – no more than 2 thousand words. Submissions must be in English. Stories containing illegal sexual acts (i.e. rape, pedophilia) will be disqualified. All stories must be original works. You may submit as many story as you would like but are only eligible for one prize. After the submissions are completed on June 11th, the gorgeous pornstars and experts in all things sexy and erotic, Tanya Tate, Katie K and Adrianna Luna will judge the entries and pick a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place winner.

“It’s going to be so much fun” said Adrianna Luna when asked how she feels about judging and Erotic Literature competition. “Erotic stories are another avenue for people to live out their sexual fantasies and bring pleasure to others. I’m looking forward to reading them and I can’t wait to get turned on!”

Adrianna Luna, Katie K and Tanya Tate are not only judging the submissions for DecadentStories.com, but they are also donating prizes for the winners. All three of the top stories will be published on the Decadent Stories website. The third place winner will get an autographed and personalized 8×10 photo of the judge of their choice. Second place is receiving a free month’s membership to the “Bad Girl of Britain”, Katie K’s website. First prize will receive winner’s choice of either a Tanya Tate Fleshlight or a recording of Katie K reading their winning story.

For more information and a complete list of the rules, go to http://decadentstories.com/contest/.

It’s a chance to try your hand at adult fiction and give it to three women who are experts in fulfilling fantasies. Let Tanya Tate, Katie K and Adrianna Luna read all the naughty thoughts that are going on in your head!

For more info please contact me at: christina.doxstader@aipdaily.com

With that said, let’s continue…….

At a very young age I started fantasizing without realizing I was. When I say young I mean about six or seven years old. It was a year after being put in the care of my grandparents. This was also the same time frame when I started sleeping over at my soon to be best friends house. Which is likely to play a roll in my twisted bedtime imagination.

In first grade I met my first real friend. Let’s call her Jane. We became very close. I didn’t have much stability in my life yet so I clung onto her and her beautiful family. My first slumber party was with her. This was the beginning of our bizarre games of house.

I always played the loser or the misfortunate character in our little role playing adventures. Jane always played the superior role. The role with power. In porn lingo I would be called a sub and she would be called a Dom. One scenario was the day old student teacher game. She would watch over me while I did my school work. If I answered a question wrong or slacked on the pace of my work I would be punished.

When we first started playing this game the punishment was simple humiliation. For example I would have to stand in front of the classroom and recite lines. The game eventually progressed  into to more sexual humiliations. Such as standing in the corner naked while my “imaginary class mates” laughed. The same turn of events occurred while playing “mom and dad” or “mom and daughter”  story lines.

I also received sexually humiliating discipline when I played the “mom” and “daughter” roles in our games of house. In addition, we also pretended to have a sexual relationship when we portrayed a married couple. She was always in charge and told me what to do. We made out in bed and grinded. This is my first lesbian experience… (maybe why I like girls so much today?)

Am I rambling? My point is that the sexual abuse I went through as a toddler eventually progressed into explicit role playing which maybe caused my childhood fantasies. I am no phycologist. I can’t make that statement with educational backing. I am actually using this blog to my benefit. The more I write about it and examine my past the more I understand myself. Eeekkk! I’m off track again.

Maybe this is a sign that I should stop writing. Next time I will actually share my childhood fantasies. Goodbye for now

It all started when I was 3…. No no no no! Stop right there! I know that sentence made u wanna run in the other direction but I promise this will be good. I mean, if you are into the troubled sexually addicted girl kind of story. So here goes…

My earliest recollections of life are from when I was 3. I remember some good times but mostly very sad times.  I didn’t realize they were bad from a toddlers standpoint so don’t weep for me. Its not like i was a little baby crying for help. For instance, at 3 years old I was very content while going on a long road trip with my daddy. I look back and living in a car with my twin brother, infant sister, and druggie father, for a year, seems not so good. A more extreme example involves playing doctor… Which I can now look back on and see that old stinky men, heroin needles and an innocent little girl DO NOT belong in the same imaginary doctors office.

I’ll stop right there. Not because I don’t want to share but because there’s not much more to tell. We all know the story and luckily I don’t remember much of it.  I can see glimpses into my past around that age. But that is all. Thank goodness; otherwise I’d probably be locked in a crazy home right now.

Everyone deals with messed up childhoods differently. Some grow up to be predators themselves, some grow up to be cold and cut off and some hide it all with humor. I, on the other hand, grew up to be intrigued. I want to know everything there is to know about the human mind, why people do what they do and why people are sexually attracted to certain things. I want to know why serial killers get off on killing. I want to know what moment in time made me the sexual fiend that I am today. Wow I just realized how wet I am at this moment in time…how screwed up am I?

To some I could be the definition of “screwed up” but In my opinion i think I got it easy. At least I enjoy my life. I try to stay positive and I really love sex which some people never learn to enjoy. The downfall to my circumstance is that I don’t think I could ever truly feel romantic love. I’ve tried and it just doesn’t work for me. But hey, if I’m happy without it, who cares? I still feel happy butterflies when I listen to love songs. I still feel warm and fussy when I lust over someone… I could go on defending myself for hours.

Back to the point of my story: when did I become so sexually driven? Was it the period of time between 3 and 5 when I was sexually mistreated and seriously neglected? Or could it have sprouted while I was being physically and mentally abused between adolescents and adulthood? My guess is a combination. With that decided I am done writing for now. It was good to get that all out. Next time I will look deeper into my sexual progression throughout childhood.

Portrait of a Call Girl: If you read our review, which you can see here, you know how much we thought of the title overall. We thought it could have used more variety on the scenes, namely the inclusion of another girl in a scene or two. Anyway, the movie ended up winning multiple awards, including a Best Actress for the star, Jessie Andrews and the Best Feature award.

The Rocki Whore Picture Show: A Hardcore Parody: This was another one of our favorite movies to come out this year (see the review here). This movie really shows how you can make a parody correctly. If my count was correct then this was the big winner of the night with a total of eight awards. Granted they were mostly for behind the scenes things like marketing, DVD extras, direction and screenplay but that is really just an indication of a good film.

Bobbi Starr: Bobbi is a great performer and on top of winning some scene awards and best porn star website, she also won the prestigious Performer of the Year award. This was the biggest shock to me, though not because she didn’t deserve because she did. The reason it was a shock was because I thought Asa Akira had this one in the bag, especially considering how her year ended last year and the mostly positive reviews for Insatiable 2, which one a bunch of awards for her this year.

Ron Jeremy: Ron won the Crossover Star of the Year award. This was a surprise as well but the reason is because no guy has ever won this award before. It’s always a joy seeing Ron win an award too. The guy is a legend and because he doesn’t shoot that often he doesn’t get a lot of nominations.

Now for some shout outs because a bunch of my friends won some awards and I wanted to send out some huge congrats.

jessica drake was recognized for her educational DVD jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Fellatio. This particular title didn’t help me out a ton, it was still well made.

Jacky St. James ended up winning for her screenplay of Dear Abby, which she also won at Xbiz, and after seeing some of the other movies she wrote, I have a feeling this will be the first of many.

Kay Brandt and the people over at Jewelbox Films ended up walking away with a couple of awards as well, including the Best Girl/Girl Release for Cherry 2.

My home girl India Summer won the MILF/Cougar Performer of the Year making it a sweep with Xbiz as well.

Ariel Rebel, who I recently started to help out with PR, won the Best Solo Girl site for her personal site, ArielRebel.com.

I’m sure I missed some people so for those friends I will say “I’m sorry” and I will add you when I remember. Congrats to all the winners, again.