Who doesn’t love a big blockbuster movie? They so exciting and shiny and expensive! On that note, who doesn’t love porn? Beautiful people with elaborate costumes, getting all wet and breathing heavy together…

How about hardcore penetration with exciting action sequences, drama, suspense, intense story and clever dialogue?

If you think about it, blockbuster movies and adult films have more in common than one would initially think. (At least, there’s always a gratuitous showing of something or another!)

Who doesn’t love a porn feature? Jon from Texas loves porn features. He says that having a story gives the scene a context, and when the directors and writers don’t give a story, he invents one for himself.

“With a regular porn scene, it’s got no frame,” he says. “The movie having a story is much more guiding. You don’t end up inventing the frame around the scene. You just plug yourself into it.”

(Though, admittedly, Jon wonders if he’s the only one who creates plot around the porn he enjoys.)

“I think they should make more features,” he says. “There are so many stories I would love to see made into feature porn movies!”

Interested in enjoying the full pornographic, cinematic experiences, but not sure how to tell the difference between the good stuff from the horrid? Gamelink.com has a great list of the 25 must-have porn features, listing genres as varied from action adventure, murder mystery, romance, to high fantasy.

“These films really suck you in,” say the sexy cats at Gamelink.com, “and once the action starts you’ll have a hard time tearing yourself away.”

Or at least, if it’s done well enough, something will be hard.

So, if people in general seem to like feature length big budget adult films, why aren’t more of them produced?

Last February, AskMen.com released a great list of the top ten biggest budget adult films, counting down to the most expensive. All of these were feature length films, because common sense says the longer and more elaborate the film, the more expensive it will be. There is a huge difference between filming a collection of five 20 minute scenes in one studio over the span of two days verses editing hours and hours of sex, plot, dialogue and special effects.

Simply put, the more effort put into something, the more expensive it will be.

That said, there is something beautiful, simple and pure about having a girl, a boy, and a toy in a dark studio for 30 minutes and filming what happens. But these sort of scenes are sexy, which is a different type of excitement. A three hour full length science fiction spectacular event is exciting in a completely different meaning of the word.

Traditionally, sex flicks had to be seen in theaters. Because of this, directors paid more attention to quality and story (granted, this was circa 1975 quality and story). After all, just watching plain ol’ sex wasn’t usually worth the trouble of leaving one’s home and venturing out into the wide open world. They had to create films that people wanted to go to see. With the popularity of at home videos, however, films began to die out. People could have porn shipped directly to their doors, or even rent from a plethora of options.

(As a kid, I always did wonder what was behind the beaded curtain at the video store.)

Enter the internet, and the face of the adult industry changed forever with a huge wide multi-verse of perverted and delicious options. (Talk about the good, the bad and the ugly!)

The adult industry has a lot of money. Despite the recent downturns of the economy, porn is still making a lot of money. Rather than making money through one big picture event, however, production companies and studios make so much money because they produce dozens of smaller, lower quality films.

Again, filming two guys and a girl in some dude’s living room is not really Hollywood blockbuster quality. Money is made and people are paid, but not to the extent of a feature length adult film to the likes of, let’s just say, Pirates.

Ah, Digital Playground and Adam and Eve’s adult pornographic hit of 2005, Pirates. A feature spoof from the endlessly popular Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, Adam and Eve took something good and sexy and made it awesome and sexier.

When it comes to adult films, many see Pirates as breaking the mould. It wasn’t a 70s or 80s cheesetastic porno flick. It was a blockbuster in the spirit of the big budget Hollywood Blockbuster. The first Pirates had a budget of one million dollars. That’s one million porn dollars, where most films are produced for a fraction of that amount.

And that’s not even mentioning the 2008 sequel, Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenue, which cost even more than the original.

Not only were the Pirates movies more expensive than other adult films, but they featured and released original motion picture soundtracks and milder, rated R edited versions.

And who can forget 1979’s Caligula, the tale of the wayward and decadent (bat-shit crazy) Roman emperor. Co-financed by Penthouse, Caligula was a strange hybrid of independent historical film and hard core, gut wrenching pornography. Probably the most well-known (and infamous) adult film ever made, it is also the most expensive.

Building from the tradition of Caligula and remembering Pirates, feature length adult films seem to be gaining momentum. This year saw the release of Adam and Eve’s post apocalyptic masterpiece, 8^th Day, as well as Wicked’s robot-fembot-replicant love story 2040.

Smaller studios like Girlfriends Films and Sweetheart Video have been paying attention to storylines. These lovely lesbian productions present either a collection of small vignettes loosely tied to an overlying theme (Women Seeking Women), or serial installments continuing an episodic storyline (Road Queen).

Some associate storylines with “couples’ porn” which can have the tendency to have a dragging plot, boring dialogue, and overly dramatic acting. While sex doesn’t always have to be an intense double dong gang-bang, it doesn’t necessarily need to be sickeningly saccharine sweet, either. It should be something for everyone to enjoy, and the modern face of the adult film feature is a great way to experience adult entertainment for the very first time, or to share your porn habits with someone you love.

Modern adult features are the gifts that keep on giving. Pornographic actors and actresses seem to enjoy making them, studios make a lot of money releasing them, and the public loves watching them. Though the acting may not be Oscar award winning, it’s usually better than the typical “is that a sausage in your pizza box or are you just happy to see me and my lesbian co-ed roommate?”

Most of all, they’re pretty. The stories are pretty and engaging, directors pay attention to sets, costumes and other details, and the talent – oh, the talent! In this wonderful world of adult film features, the men are as pretty or talented as the women usually are – and they’re likeable, too!

The Adult Video News (AVN) Awards reward studio’s hard work with plenty of awards each year, and the features are usually a highlight. It’s no secret that 8^th Day and 2040 are both fierce contenders for this year’s honor.

So, pop some popcorn, take out the lube, find your favorite snuggle buddy and pop in a DVD or a toy or two. Finally, enjoy some hard core lights, camera and most of all, action.

Sources:

http://www.gamelink.com/naked_truth.jhtml?id=musthave_features
http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-big-budget-porns.html
http://www.overthinkingit.com/2009/03/26/the-adult-film-industry-rediscovers-its-balls/
http://thefastertimes.com/sexanddating/2009/07/22/porn-should-have-a-plot/
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/08/business/media/08porn.html?_r=3&scp=1&sq=pornography&st=cse

Joone, Digital Playground’s founder and the writer/director of Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge was on hand for the evening of stars and entertainment, broadcast live on French TV. Joone says, “It was an honor to be present for such a great show. Thank you to Hot Video for the awards and my cast, crew, and everyone at Digital Playground.”

For information about the Hot d’Or awards show, visit www.hotdor.fr

Paul Jérôme, Hot Video’s Editor says, “Year after year, Digital Playground demonstrates why they are an international favorite. They make excellent movies with grand budgets and beautiful girls like Katsuni and Jesse Jane. Congratulations to everyone with Digital Playground.”

“It’s something different when you win an award in your own country,” says Katsuni. “I’ve always been more recognized in foreign countries. After nine years in the industry, I’m getting that recognition in France. That’s a really nice feeling. Vive les Hot d’Or!  Vive la France!  Vive le porno!”

With a total of 33 awards, Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge is breaking records at the most prestigious shows around the world. The best-selling movie recently celebrated over a year on AVN’s Retail Buzz Top 100 chart. Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge was also featured prominently on news channels like CNN, CNBC, FOX, ABC, NBC, and CBS, and papers and websites around the world.

“I met Jim Lane and Dan Leal (Porno Dan) in Florida, about April of 08. They shot me a few times for my regular rate.

It was my boyfriend who asked me to accept their cheap wages in order for him to get more shoots… Devious? He is now out of the industry, I guess, he rarely shoots.

Everyone knows I drink. Everyone knows Immoral Productions has shoots where alcohol is provided. Granted, you don’t have to drink it.

Upon arrival, I asked ‘Am I okay?? Did I miss anything?’ The girls replied with ‘No’. I made a drink as I announced that I have chafing on my legs from wearing short shorts with no underwear in hot weather. There was no reply. (I later read on a blog that I missed the pretty girls and had some funny rash on my thighs. That’s called chafing). I hurried on set, untold what to do (this is my first bukkake ever, not only for female). I, of course, am funny, so I hop on set and just start masturbating and oohing and ahhing with the rest of them, being cute and funny and playing with my pussy. I was close to being the last one to squirt on the girl upon arrival, so next thing you know I’m laying with my pussy over this chicks face chafed legs and all, masturbating. From the distance of the camera-man and us, you wouldn’t have been able to notice any chafing, it was on my the inside of my upper thighs, where short shorts belong. This continued for about 10 seconds before the girl said ‘Wait’… (I don’t know exactly what she said to the photographers, something along the lines of not working with me because of the chafing, she probably thought I had something. The scene was cut because the female talent didn’t want any crisscrossings of our vaginas (i.e., me touch her pussy and then play with mine). That was alright, everyone has the right to a clean working environment, granted she was laying with her back on a wet, muddy, douched warehouse floor.

However, I was upset, surprised, and was embarrassed because she’d mentioned this and/or was offended when we all had tests and it was clearly chafing, including, I mentioned it when I arrived at the filthy warehouse. If she didn’t check my test results it shouldn’t affect a production I’m in. Either the company makes sure everyone sees everyones tests, or you have the right to ask for it. She obviously didn’t care to ask for mine.

I don’t trust editors because in www.OnlyTeenBlowjobs.com the editor didn’t edit out my tampon string. I was so embarrassed.

Anyway, I told them I really didn’t want to do this anymore, started to leave, because now I think that my fans will assume I have something, and there were more squirt shots to do, so I told him I was done. Considering I already missed ‘pretty-girls’ I figured they’d manage.

Jim Lane was persistent on me staying.’ I’m a doormat and he’s given me a lot of work and alcohol, so I agreed to finish. He offered for our scenes not to be put together, that we wouldn’t be on the same set. I stood by my refusal. After awhile he kept pleading with me to stay. I finally agreed. I was more offended at the girl and Jim Powers.

Not long after, I have the pride of sitting down and awaiting to be squirted with pussy cum, or douche-water, which was really probably just the douche rinsed out and filled with water, because I could still taste it.

Once the scene started, I played with myself, I touched others around me, I said how hot it was that all this pussy juice would be on me, or whatever I said. I wanted it to be a good scene. I always want it to be a good scene. And so the line went, and I was told prior you had the choice to pee on, really squirt on, or use the douches and fake it…. Most faked it. Then one girl squirted on me, really, and as dirty and filty as the floor already was, he told me to get down even lower, so that my asshole was literally touching the dirty, wet, douche-y warehouse floor, where all the dirty feet have been walking, just so he could get another shot of it. After Jim asked this, I stood up politely and said I really don’t feel  like doing this. Let’s just stop. There was a commotion of ‘Tanner…..Tanner…’ yadda yadda’.

I have a right to a clean work environment and little patience when it comes to my health. That’s why I get pap smears AND AIM Tests.

BTS (reverend Sandy) followed me like my dog, Daisy. I’m sure I used fowl language, like, ‘quit fucking following me!’ If you saw what the guy filming looks like, you’d know why, aside from the fact I was ticked at Jim, the female talent, and the New Sensations shoot the day before. Reverend Sandy tried to make me sound mental by claiming I kept talking about walking off New Sensations set that day when it was the day prior. I said it once only because I messed it up after the drinks they served us on set, BTS. What surprises me is what BTS DOESN’T catch.

Anyway,  BTS caught me standing up for myself and their disrespect towards me for over a year, and I snapped. I’ve been cheated out of a lot of money from them, at my own fault, it escalated, and now I’m a methwhore? I’ve done nothing but favors for them. Free blowjobs and fuck scenes for Tanner Tuesdays (fuck-a-fan), signed for them at Erotica LA for free, free blowjobs usually every encounter with Porno Dan because  they’re almost forced. Then they edit it to make it seem like it’s not their fault my speech was blurred. Stop buying vodka for minors. Especially college students who enjoy drinking and fucking.

About my phone, while this was all going on, I was in the bathroom peeing and texting, I dropped my phone in the toilet. It’s a $400 phone, the G1. I always lose phones. Follow me on Twitter @TurkeyMayonaise for the previous lost 3.

I came out of the bathroom like, OMG! My phone fell in the toilet. I hear ‘I’ll fix it, just go jump in the scene’.

That’s how that came in.

Johnny Thrust claims that’s his office  but wouldn’t give me any of the footage  from me yelling at the camera guy to get out of my ass. So who’s company was it? I got an envelope from ‘Multimedia’ for a $200 check that I’d rather piss on than deposit into my bank account. I treat my dogs better than they treat female talent.

I’ll be working with Jeff Mullen for Not the Brady’s XXX #3 tomorrow. I’ll bet that $200 check that All Media Play, nor any of their producers or directors even ASK me things that JM Productions/Immoral 
Productions has made me feel obligated to do.”

Tanner Mayes can be booked for photo and video via Adult Talent Managers (818) 825-1239 and can be reached on MySpace at www.myspace.com/tannermays and on Twitter at www.twitter.com/TurkeyMayonaise.

Kagney will head north to perform Thursday through Saturday, June 25-27, at the Spearmint Rhino in Oxnard.

“I know it’s early in my feature career, but I’ve put a lot of work into my show,” Kagney says. “I spent years on stage before getting in front of the camera, so I feel at home. And the great thing is I get to go to new places and meet new people that I never would have had the opportunity to get to know otherwise.”

Kagney is also featured in XBiz’ June “Hot Issue,” which features on rising stars, directors and trends.

“This blonde bombshell exploded right out of the gate onto the triple-X scene since first appearing late last year,” they wrote. “The playful sex kitten has lit up the pornosphere with her all-American good looks and vigorous sexual appetite.”

The article goes on to discuss some of her bigger roles, particularly anticipating her role as Kelly Bundy in X-Play’s much-anticipated Not Married With Children XXX.

For fans looking to follow the antics of the adult industry’s hottest young superstar, they can now get nearly-constant updates via Twitter at http://twitter.com/kagneytweets.

The June issues of Penthouse, AVN and XBiz–all of which feature Kagney–are all on sale now. For much more Kagney visit http://kagneylinnkarter.com/ and http://www.myspace.com/kagneylinn. Follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/kagneytweets.

Vote for him at the dj guide and make him number one in the list. (he’s 14th now)

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