Happy New Year, Lovers!
The hectic year of 2013 has fallen and a new year has risen, bringing with it even more opportunities. My 2013 was a year of learning and appreciation and this year my resolution is to understand and find love. Those who don’t have love seek it desperately, while those who have it don’t appreciate it. But what about those who want “the idea” of love?
Women wait and dream for a knight in shining armor to sweep them off their feet and have the beautiful wedding they have planned since they were born. That is “the standard” for straight couples. What I find intriguing is that transsexuals yearn and are willing to sacrifice more than those genetically born female to meet the same “white picket fence” fate.I have met and seen transsexuals quit their jobs, undergo facial and vaginoplasty surgeries, and even sacrifice their personal goals and dreams just for “the idea” of love. Some have happy marriages, but the lion’s share of these unions wither on the vine. I have mostly witnessed the misery and downfall of transsexual marriages. Is this for the sake of validation in a straight society or is this really what transsexuals hope to achieve as a life goal?
I believe most, if not all, transsexuals have remaining, underlying insecurities after transformation. From my perspective, because we become women so much later in the game of life, we have yet to build a concrete understanding of ourselves to ground us into our own skin and mindset.We live our lives influenced by what surrounds us, which naturally embeds the standard of how we should live our lives and leaves us with the desire to conform. Although it’s hard enough for anyone in society to make a solid romantic connection in the transsexual world there’s an even smaller pool of possible candidates for love. I have known some who have made themselves docile for their wealthy companions for the hope of marriage. Some who have set aside their successful independence for a more co-dependent mundane life. Everyday the standard is elevated higher and more covet the dream of an ideal husband and a extravagant wedding. Will this be the future of transsexual relationships?
I have always intended for this column to be a forum for ideas and for my readers to express their opinion and explore with me. I look forward to hearing what you think about this and will be chatting with some TS ladies who are married, have impending weddings or have now divorced their partner to gain some insight into this most fascinating topic in my next column.
Venus Lux is a Transsexual Adult Performer, Director, Producer and CEO of Lux Entertainment. This is an advice column for the Trans Community and those that love them. Each week , Venus fields questions from all of you and picks one that covers a different aspect of the Trans world, from love to life to sex to transition. If you want Venus Lux to answer your question in her next column send your question and/or explain your issue in an email to: firstname.lastname@example.org