My new year resolution for 2013 is to take the transsexual industry by storm and to innovate porn, by structuring my company Venus Lux Entertainment well enough to embark on my other ideas and projects.
I can’t tell anyone yet what those might be, but I am a Libra ruled by Venus so you can expect only interesting surprises. My official website has only been active since my 22nd birthday this past October, and I am still accepting members. Those who have seen my recent videos on the site already know how outrageous I can be.
This seems so contrary to my background, since I was raised in a traditional Chinese family, so I was not really educated about sexuality and gender identity. My dad is partial Mongolian but he was born in Guangzhou, China, and my mom is from Hong Kong. I really don’t know much about my lineage besides that and, for a long time, I didn’t come to the realization that there was a possible third gender, which was being a transsexual. I didn’t find that out till I was 19, through the person who is my best friend today, who is also transgendered.
She was the one who educated me about how to transition, and that’s when I started to learn more about it and actually acted on it and transitioned. This has not been easy for some people to accept. I’ve had experiences with guys who go on a date with me and they don’t know and then I have to tell them, and that’s when I usually get disappointed.
How I usually try to approach it is not to judge them or doubt them or question them, but to educate them. I want to leave them with the impression that I’m a human being. I want to say: “I’m no different than anyone else, so it’s really sad that you have to see me and then actually judge me because of what I have, because of the equipment I have. If you see me on the street, you would not think that I’m a T-girl unless I’m walking naked with my cock all hanging out, you know.” (Of course, I’m proud to say you can now see me doing exactly that on my site, when I’m doing solos!)
So this is what I say to them: I understand from a sexual standpoint that you may not be interested in this, but I’m pretty sure down the line you will be curious. All I can tell people, or what they can take with them when they watch me, is that I am a woman, I identify as a woman, and I am not gay. Just because I have this special equipment does not mean I am gay or that I identify as a male. I live my life as a girl on a daily basis. What I have does not make me who I am.
At the same time, though, I do always find myself having to deal with my insecurities. I want transgendered people to be relatable and to be treated as human beings but, from my personal experience, I know I have more to learn because I am constantly transitioning to a different identity, a new life. I feel like I’m starting at base one, and I’m still getting used to my own skin.
Even to this day, I’m still getting adjusted to my boobs, because I was never born with them. They’re artificial, so I still have that feeling that they’re glued onto me, in a way. They’re a 34 B-cup, which is pretty normal for my height — I’m pretty tall for an Asian girl, five-feet-ten –- but when I’m looking down on them, they look huge! It’s different for a genetic girl, because she sees the process of them growing, but I got these in one night. Like, BAM! GIANT TITTIES!
But what that has also done is help me to stay sane, despite the often unusual pressures of working in porn. I realize every day how lucky I am to make a living doing what I love, giving pleasure to people. My recent industry award nominations have made me feel validated but I’m trying to hold on to my humility as much as I can. I really want to innovate porn, and I’m only just getting warmed up.