To continue from last week’s column, I decided to pick my fan Tiffany’s brain about her experience growing up as a child in a TS marriage. Children see what the public doesn’t always get to and I thought this would be an interesting viewpoint for us all to learn from and also to gain knowledge from the hindsight of a witnesses now adult perspective. So with the help of all of you writing in I narrowed it down to 4 questions to ask Ms. Tiffany:
- You are an adult now, did your parents stay married or have they since divorced?
- If they are still together, what do you attribute to that success? If they failed what do you think was the final underlying reason?
- Has your trans parent stabilized emotionally and settled into a comfort zone post trans or does he still struggle with the drastic lifestyle change?
- How has this affected your relationships as an adult?
To which Ms. Tiffany so eloquently replied:
Yes, I’m an adult now and I’ve been on my own since I was 18. I came out to my grandmother at age 11. My parents married for one reason: the public. Things were just too difficult and hard for my parents to stay married. They lived two completely different lives. But I must say, they did pretty good. The marriage lasted 11 years. In the first year of their marriage they lived together, after that year they both decided to get separate houses. So every time Mum wanted to conceive, she’d call up my Dad and they made a baby together. Over 11 years 6 children were born.
Since my parents married for reasons other than love, I believe the marriage was set to fail. As they became more involved in their personal lives, the stress of being married to each other took a toll on their spouses. There were fights and non-stop arguments. It took years for family to accept my Trans father. It was hard on my Dad and often he became depressed. But over the years my Dad developed into a beautiful woman and he was in many pageants. He even won Miss Transsexual Wisconsin 3 years in a row. My Dad had me as his backbone. I supported him in everything he did. This helped my dad through so much and I’m so proud to be the daughter of a beautiful, and sexy, Transsexual.
Growing up with a lesbian Mum and a Transsexual Dad has so many experiences and challenges. It made me strong and very diverse. I loved every moment of it. I wouldn’t change a thing!
Tiffany’s responses seemed to open up more questions for me but also led me to believe that although the road to a TS marriage is difficult, all matrimonial journeys are difficult. Maybe, the trick is starting on the same path, letting your partner know when the twists and curves are coming up and being there to face what’s around the corner together as a united front when you turn it. Maybe it is all that simple. Write to me and tell me what you think. What are your personal experiences and/or thoughts about TS marriage? Are you for it or against it?