Americans Are Headed Towards A Pleasure Apocalypse

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Brian Sloan, the inventor of the Autoblow brand of male please devices is sounding the alarm over how the Trump tariffs will negatively affect the sex lives of millions of Americans. The entire supply chain for sex toys is based in China with no American-made alternatives. Over the next one to two months, Americans will see retail sex toy prices raised between 2x-4x current levels, causing sales to virtually cease.

American sex toy companies like Autoblow are global leaders in their use of technology and have spearheaded enormous advancements in sexual pleasure for Americans and others around the world. Fifteen years ago, Autoblow produced masturbation machines that simply moved rows of beads up and down. But today, with years of expert input from his Chinese factory partner, Autoblow offers a machine that syncs up with a VR video library and one called VacuGlide that, using suction and electronically controlled valves, offers the prospect of suction-based pleasure to men who cannot achieve erections.

Soon the market of millions of American men in need that Autoblow serves will react to the tariff inflated prices of Autoblow machines by deciding to simply do it the old fashioned way. The old days of cheap rubber butts made from unsafe materials and dildos made from toxic PVC will return, as tariffs will put high quality sex toys out of reach of most American budgets. Americans will not cease masturbating, but tariffs will cause all but the rich to stop using high quality products to help them do so.

Autoblow inventor Brian Sloan said,

“I lived in China for 10 years and developed my American brand with the help of Chinese engineers and business partners who are simply irreplaceable. I understand and am sympathetic to the need to bring more manufacturing to the United States. But it defies logic that reviving American manufacturing requires bankrupting American entrepreneurs and their Chinese business partners. I am hoping that cooler heads prevail as soon as possible.”

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