I’m a creative type who wears many hats, one of which is being a pro domme.
How did you get started in the dominatrix world?
A few of my friends joked that I should be a dominatrix. I didn’t see it. For years, I had been mostly a submissive, only dabbling in domming once in awhile. At the time, it didn’t seem to particularly interest me, but I think the reason I didn’t find any fun in it was because I was dominating people who didn’t truly submit, who “bottomed from the top” so to speak. It was a while before I dommed someone who fully gave themselves over to submission. It was thrilling! To have someone hand over the reigns to you with complete trust, letting you guide them down a rabbit hole is a very electrifying, magical feeling. Once I had that taste of power exchange, I couldn’t go back.
Do you work with men and women or are you exclusive with one sex? If it’s both are there any differences in how you treat your subs?
Unfortunately, mostly men! Don’t get me wrong, I adore (most) men but I just don’t see many female clients. Not out of choice, but because I think few women ever think to see a dominatrix, a whole other can of worms to be opened another time.
All subs are different, regardless of gender. Some people practically melt before you, while others have a harder time releasing their control. But with the few women I’ve had the pleasure of domming, it was much more of a mental challenge. Women are such wonderful creatures. Especially those bold and wise enough to show their kink side some love. It can be intimidating taking a hold of that sort of power.
What advice would you give someone who is thinking they want to seek out the services of a Dominatrix?
Know what you’re looking for but go in with an open mind. Don’t be shy about what turns you on, but don’t go into a session with an exact script of how you think it should go, which I’ve literally had before. A client brought in an actual, laminated script of what he wanted. If you do, it’s probably going to be a let down for both parties. Sessions need some structure, but also an element of improv and surprise.
Do you have a specialty when it comes to being a domme? If so what can you tell us about it?
Being a domme is all about your ability to read subtle cues in your partner. When you spank them, do they flinch? If so, how much? What’s their energy saying about them? One person may thrive on impact play (spanking, flogging, etc) while another adores bondage and being humiliated. I think I’m particularly good at keying in on these subtle cues and creating an erotic experience that is challenging for the sub, but doesn’t push them too far.
What would you say is the most important part of the Dom/sub relationship?
Trust and mutual respect.
Have you thought about working in the adult film world as well as a dominatrix?
Not really my scene. If I had control over the entire film, then I might consider it. But it would be more of a kink art film of selfish creative expression.
What, if anything, do you think we as a country can move forward in our views on sex and sexuality?
We need more conversation. Resources like Spread (a magazine by and for sex workers), Fetlife (social network for BDSM, kink, and fetish lifestyles), and sites like this one help. We can definitely use more resources like these and more people willing to look honestly at themselves. Don’t judge lest ye be judged and all that jazz.
Have you considered starting a blog or a website of any kind?
More and more people have been reaching out to me asking for a session, a good business problem to have, so I have a website in the works. The larger pool of clients I have, the more choosy I can be about who I take on as clients. I have considered starting a blog. I guess I should take my own advice about spreading the good word of kink and self love! Currently you can find me on Fetlife (KillerXQueenX), Twitter (@mercurymistress), and Instagram (@mistressxmercury).
Who would you say your idols are, if you have any that is?
Freddie Mercury, thus the name, is a huge idol of mine. He was so open about his sexuality, at a time when our country was far less progressive. He had a playfulness about him, with all his camp and fanfare. When ‘I Want to Break Free’ was originally banned from television because it showed men in drag, Freddie didn’t let it get him down. He continued to create and explore the taboo with his music, being a voice for a community of people that felt they didn’t deserve one. We need more brave souls in the world like Freddie, willing to crack themselves open and inspire people to embrace the grey areas in their life.
Along a similar vein, Lady Gaga is another artist who inspires me. She is ever evolving and doesn’t allow the media to put her in an artistic box, as they so love to do! And you have to admit, current music has gotten a lot kinkier since she came on the scene.
What sort of things do you like to do when you aren’t working? Any hobbies?
I’m very creative and love the arts. Performing, painting, modeling, and branching out into as many artistic expressions as I can. I have my degrees in classical singing and musical theater, but I also enjoy singing a lot of other music genres, especially rock n roll. However, pro domming doesn’t feel like work, except the necessary evils of email which I loathe. It’s just another extension of my creativity. I get to write, direct, and act in my own “scene”.
Yes! This Saturday I will be dominating at Skirt Club NYC, along with my fabulous friend and fellow domme, Marie Sauvage. Besides that, I’m looking to get together a BDSM style variety show, showcasing the many talented folks in our community. How hot would it be to whip some subs while singing “Another One Bites the Dust”? My head is reeling with the possibilities. And I’m always looking for exciting, outside the box modeling gigs. Latex and fetish designers, get at me!
Final photo courtesy of JCPhotoMedia.net