From what I remember it was around 3 years ago when I was booked for my first hardcore Boy/Tgirl scene. It was a wonderful summer morning in San Francisco, CA. I woke up at 8 am to prepare myself for my shoot that day which my call time was at 10:30 PM; for me to sign paperwork and take care of all the legal documents before the scene.
My first hardcore scene was for a BDSM company located in San Francisco’s famous armory. I was very nervous at the time and I remember it like it was yesterday. After paperwork I had to get my hair and make-up done to be on set at exactly 1 PM. This company was very professional and everything had to be on schedule. The talents were to be on set at 1PM for a 4 hour hardcore scene to end at 5PM. I remember just telling myself to think of a popular adult film star that I know who is a male performer and try to project that person on camera.
The reason why I had thought of a male performer is because my first scene required me to be a dominant transsexual to “top” my male partner. So in that case I had to be like a male performer being able to be powerful enough to maintain an erection and aggressive enough to be able to know all the angles of the camera. And at the same time be able to keep a feminine streak as to a lot of the male audience in transsexual porn don’t want the fantasy to be shattered by seeing a totally masculine persona on camera. It was quite difficult to keep all of this in mind and it was a lot of pressure. But at that time I just surrendered everything to the universe and just went with the flow. I just thought to myself I had to be extremely kinky and first impressions always last so I gave it my all and I was actually turned on by the fact that there are other people there watching us i.e. the camera man, director, lights etc. So I guess I have always been an exhibitionist, but after that scene my love for exhibitionism was doubled. I was so excited and tired right after the scene, but I was ready to book my next shoot. I couldn’t wait to perform once more in front of the camera.
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