Wicked Pictures and Brad Armstrong present their second parody movie, Men in Black: A Hardcore Parody. Agents J and K (Ethan Hunt and Randy Spears) are on the case as alien and human women are disappearing. As would be expected, they don’t really know what to make of things to start so they start by contacting everyone they know, including some very familiar characters from the original movies. I don’t want to give too much away as far as the story so I will stop there. I would like to note that this is Randy Spears final performance as he came out of retirement just for this movie and then quickly when back after it was done.
Scene 1: India Summer and Ethan Hunt
So the investigation is under the way quickly and Ethan and Randy split up in order to cover more ground. Ethan decides he is going to check the morgue, where Laura (the coroner from the first movie, played by India Summer) works, and Randy reminds him to “flashy thing” here when he is done. As it turns out, since she left the organization, Ethan has been back several times just to hook up with India. It doesn’t take very long for him to find out that the morgue is a dead end as far as the investigation but that doesn’t mean they can’t have their fun. After a brief conversation, India drops down and starts to suck Ethan off. From there, India bends over an exam table so that Ethan can take her from behind before rolling over and having some more fun in missionary. India takes command next as she mounts Ethan in reverse cowgirl, which then leads to India jerking and sucking him off until he cums. Unfortunately there isn’t much of anything as far as the ejaculation here but India does do her best to cover for it. India also shows why she is the current AVN, Xbiz and XRCO MILF of the Year. One thing I would have liked to have seen here is India getting eaten out. It’s a personal gripe of mine when they don’t do anything for the female performer on the oral end. Just isn’t fair since she did such a nice job with the blowjob early in the scene.
Scene 2: Nicole Aniston, Mia Lelani and Brad Armstrong
After what happens after they split up, Randy and Ethan start to work together again and their first stop is to see Edgar (Brad Armstrong), the bug from the first movie. Turns out that he has moved into making his own porn movies involving aliens and in this case the aliens are played by Mia and Nicole who are both wearing bright colored wigs and have bug eyes. As Brad films the ladies we see them licking and playing with each other but after a little bit of teasing, the real action starts as. Nicole lies on her back as Mia starts fingering her and using a glass toy. Mia then gets on her hands and knees so Nicole can lick and finger her before she brings out her own toy to use in Mia. The ladies stop once Ethan and Randy get there to ask him a few questions but after they leave, the ladies get back to work as they both start to work on Brad’s cock. The rest of the scene is Mia and Nicole sucking and stroking Brad, either together or one on one, before he pops on Nicole’s chest and Mia’s mouth. I’ll be honest; I couldn’t really get into this scene. I guess it’s the way the Mia and Nicole looked in their makeup, which was really cool by the way, but it just lost all its steam when they took the break in the middle.
Scene 3: Alektra Blue and Xander Corvus
Up next on the investigation is Serleena (the villain from the second movie, played by Alektra Blue). Xander plays the alien that Johnny Knoxville played in that movie and he does a good job with the mannerisms while he is locked up in the stocks and being whipped by Alektra. As was the case with the others they talked to, Alektra doesn’t know what is happening with the women. Ethan and Randy then leave now Alektra wants some fun with her little slave. Once she releases him from the stocks and he puts away his other head (if you don’t understand that then you probably haven’t seen the second movie), they can get started. Things start off simply enough as Alektra has Xander being submissive and worshipping her legs before she lets him taste her pussy. Alektra turns things around and licks his shaft up and down and gives him a titty fuck before she is bent over in standing doggie, first vaginal and then anal Standing doggie anal doesn’t last too long though as they then go to missionary anal before Xander pulls out and sprays Alektra’s pussy. This is a good rebound after the last scene as the mixture of comedy before the scene starts and the sex that occurs after have a nice balance. Alektra was definitely the right choice to play the part of Serleena as well. She looks a lot like Lara Flynn Boyle did in the original. Plus we get a good amount of some hot anal sex here, for those people out there that are really into anal.
Scene 4: Kaylani Lei and Randy Spears
After we see short scene where we meet Estrella (jessica drake), we see Randy tossing and turning in bed as he is dreams about the woman that he made first contact with that ended up causing the creation of the men in black. They meet in a cornfield and from their conversation it appears that this isn’t there first extra meeting. Kaylani then takes off some clothes to reveal her three breasts which Randy immediately starts to suck on before Kaylani does the same to his dick. Randy gets on the ground and lies down as Kaylani mounts and rides him in reverse cowgirl. They then roll onto their sides for some spoons before Randy pulls out and paints all three breasts. The scene then ends with Kaylani being transported away and Randy wakes up in a cold sweat. You just knew they were going to have an alien in this movie with three breasts; it’s really no brainer when you think about it. That being said, I really did enjoy this scene and even though Randy had come out of retirement for this movie, he didn’t lose his skills and really showed why he was one of the most respected guys in the industry.
Scene 5: Misty Stone
In order to catch the alien that is snatching up the alien and human women, the men in black decide that Ethan will be used as bait, but first they need to turn him into a woman. So they get him in this machine and break the news to him once he is inside and press the red button and after am minute, Ethan turns into Misty. After the transformation, she and Randy go down to get their weapons for the mission and she tells Randy to leave so she can pick out her own, after he tries to give her a little one. After he leaves Misty starts to undress and after a short interruption from Frank the dog, she proceeds to use the neuralyzer (the flashy thingy) as a toy. This is a masturbation only scene, in case you haven’t figured it out and Misty does a nice job here and looks incredibly sexy too boot. Just like the three breasts thing in the last scene, using the neuralyzer as a dildo was something that just had to be done for this movie.
Scene 6: Isis Taylor and Tommy Pistol
After we see some scenes with Misty as Agent J, Randy decides they need to go see Jeebs (Tommy Pistol). While they are on their way, Tommy is helping out a customer played by Isis Taylor, who I playing Rosario Dawson’s character from MiB II, who is trying to pick up a bracelet. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have the ticket but he is willing to forgo that if she blows him. She agrees but only if she gets the bracelet first and after he gives it to her she starts to lick and suck on his rod. Tommy works in some foreplay on Isis after she is done but then they go straight to standing doggie. Isis then gets herself turned around for some missionary which allows Tommy to lick and suck on her nipples some more. This leads to the final position, reverse cowgirl, and Tommy shooting his load in Isis’s waiting mouth. I loved the energy in this scene as Isis and Tommy seemed to work really well together. I will say that Tommy’s prosthetics were a bit distracting and I assume that they were the reason that we didn’t see any male on female oral in this scene. I also really liked that they had three positions in this scene, all the others only had two, and variety is always a good thing.
Scene 7: jessica drake, Alektra Blue, Kaylani Lei, Misty Stone, India Summer, Randy Spears, Eric Masterson, Tommy Gunn, Marco Rivera and Jack Vegas
What kind of bid budget Brad Armstrong movie would this be without a big orgy scene? In this case, Randy and the other men in black agents infiltrate Estrella’s ship. Like most orgies, there is too much happening on screen to really be able to break it down, so I won’t even try. The action is pretty hot though and I especially liked that Misty gets to have a sex scene here instead of the solo masturbation earlier.
I have not received the actual DVD yet. This was a download from WickedPictures.com and it did not include the bonus features. However, I have seen all the BTS stuff that was posted on the site and if the rest of the bonus features are as good as those then I will be very happy. I will write up my thoughts on the bonus features when I get the actual DVD in a couple weeks.
Final Thoughts and Rating:
Porn parodies are a big business within the porn industry but let’s be honest, most of them are not good. Fortunately, this is one of the very good ones. Brad Armstrong was able to capture the essence of the mainstream movies and the actors nailed their mainstream equivalents parts very well, the ones that had one to compare to anyway. Brad and Wicked are definitely showing a knack for the parody end of the spectrum when it comes to adult features. Hopefully they can keep up the momentum and their next parody will be just as good as this and Rocki Whore Picture Show. My only real complaint as far as the sex scenes go though was the lack of positions. As I mentioned, only one scene had more than two positions. Wicked is never going to have the amount of position changes as other companies because that is not how they operate but it would be good for them to push for at least three in each position, though it may be hard to do more because all their scenes are generally only around 12 minutes. Anyway, this is a solid movie and must see for fans of the original movies, I give this a 5 out of 5.