What is “work” when a girl does sex for a living, and “romance” is just a passing flame that gets ignited only to get — pardon the pun (especially for those who love blow jobs) — blown away?
To be frank, I feel like girls in the business need to understand that “work” and “romance” are two different things. You hear about girls getting stuck on their clients or getting impressed by how rich they are; if they’re driving a Ferrari, and all that, and in the local context, we call these guys “stables.” Yes, I know that’s not a nice thing to say, like horses in stables, but girls in the escort agencies are known to fight over clients, particularly those who are good-looking or are very rich.
What you learn is you can’t use the same perspective in escorting. They need to understand that clients have their own other life, they have their girlfriends and wives, and in a rather harsh way you will never be that because of the way that you meet. I have been in other parts of sex work before and when you meet a client and you guys think you get along well and you’re going to fall in love, etc., that is often not the case because of the way you guys met and they need to understand that and draw lines, like boundaries — like if a person is bothering you too much in your private life you need to cut that person off. You have to respect how people have their own families too.
I wouldn’t say it’s “learning” but more accepting the way things are — you can’t expect a client to be a committed lover because he’s going to be on the lookout for other girls unless he’s made the decision to stop. I have a client who has stopped seeing other girls but he is very rare. Most of them are like this one guy who treats me a bit rough and wants to see me only on his terms, and you have to ask yourself: “Why would you want to do that?”
The thing is, I used to be a sugar baby and that actually made me realize that clients will only see you as a friend, at maximum, they won’t see you like a true-blue lover. You’re a friend with benefits, monetary benefits including nice gifts. The transition to escorting works because you can get more money, but being a sugar baby is not something that gives you stability because you’re only exclusive to this guy.
Like a report I read about this girl who is exclusive to this one guy because he is disabled and paralyzed from the waist down so he’s given up on conventional dating. He’s twice her age and sees it as a way “to ease his loneliness” and he’s quite charmed by her insistence on her “fixation with his bank balance, so straightforward and sans pity” and so, when they are together, she is “working.”
I have sugar daddies that have been with me one to one and a half years, quite a long time, but you don’t earn as much as escorting because of the hours involved. I would say I’m still doing it as a side-line but not as much and also times have changed. It’s not like before when it was easier to find a sugar daddy, a genuine one, because the economy isn’t doing very well and the prices have to be lowered. And being a sugar baby is different from being an escort — they are two different things.
Local girls have a price advantage over girls from other nationalities because they are rare and hard to find and most of them are in agencies, which means you don’t get to directly meet your clients and match our expectations, so it’s a very different ball game. My agencies are going well as long as you make time to work and you can monetize your niche, so they will still want you around.
The bottom line is it’s a very mercenary relationship. You have to make your peace with it or you just can’t survive into the long term – and surviving is what I’m after, and my long-term goal in life.