There are fantastic sex toys that deliver deep libido-rocking orgasms and lip-biting fulfilling thrusting. And now, there seem to be ones that explode.
Adult toys (‘massage pillows and other erotic gadgets’ as the DailyMail.com called them) that were shipped in July and ignited in DHL logistics hubs in both Germany and the UK, seemed to have been part of a Russian sabotage attempt. Authorities reported this week that they believe these instances were part of a bigger “practice run,” plot to explode items like these on passenger aircraft. While this would not be the first time that the Kremlin has run various alternate warfare or misinformation campaigns, this kind of physical sabotage, using sex toys as a cover no less, comes as an unprecedented strike that many fear was to be eventually aimed at the West.
One could as much argue this is yet another Putin strike (or should that be ‘stroke’?) against sexuality as a clever infiltration into what he knows the rest of the world (and let’s face it, even his country) cannot avoid…the need to get off!
Surely, the key to winning any conflict, be it a chess match or a war, is for an attacker to strike at their enemy’s most vulnerable spots. While people still step into sex shops, the percentage is skewed to ever-heartier sex toy purchasing online because of easier searchability and anonymity (see this report); so folks are buying at a healthy rate, and what they buy needs to be shipped to them.. If indeed Putin could create a network of infiltration where he gets into our butt plugs and spanking paddle packaging, (all tittering aside) this could be a serious invasion of not just our privacy, but our lives.
For now, it seems the plot was detected, and we are safe to go about inserting, vibrating, and rubbing. But be careful when you do.
